The typically successful individual in our culture spends at least 8 hours per day at work, so work takes up the majority of our time. It’s important for an individual with borderline personality disorder to feel good at work – to feel the true potential for success. Workplace relationships and demands can be stressful and even triggering for some people.
When choosing a job, or at your current job, try making the following workplace adjustments:
Work in disciplined environments
When you work at a job that has clear expectations and consequences for failing to meet those expectations, you’ll have less room to manipulate and fail. Follow the rules and you will be successful. This kind of structure and discipline will help you thrive.
Consistent Support from Co-Workers and Employers
You don’t have to disclose the specifics of things you struggle with, but make an effort to make positive relationships that will serve to support you. Do your homework on friendship skills and focus on putting your manipulation and sensitivity to the side at work. Allowing workplace relationships to thrive, without judging them or demanding too much of them, will give those relationships a chance to give you the consistent support you need.
Avoid Jobs that are Monotonous
Getting bored will only lead to destructive behaviors. If you find yourself in a monotonous job with repetitious tasks, challenge yourself to have fun, push yourself harder, and look for opportunities within that position to take on additional responsibility and tasks.
Avoid Frequent Shift Changes
Sleep is extremely important for stabilizing mood. By making frequent shift changes, you will disrupt your sleep cycles, which will have very big emotional consequences for you. The goal is to learn how to control your emotions, and by messing with your sleep schedule, you will be setting yourself up to fail.
Journal Exercise: Brainstorm some ways you can make changes in your workplace to improve successful behavior and changes. Out of the brainstormed list, pick one and implement it as soon as possible. Write about how that change is making things better.
fbpda said
I just found your blog and am thrilled.
I think that your advice is really solid but I must disagree with the idea that you are manipulative. Just because you hear over and over again that, “borderlines are so manipulative” doesn’t mean this an accurate statement.
Persons diagnosed with BPD sometimes have a very difficult time in getting their needs met in a way that is skillful and appropriate given the situation and sometimes we behave badly—we cry, pout, stomp our feet, or say mean things that we regret but this simply isn’t an accurate definition of manipulation. It’s very rare for someone with BPD to be thinking, “Okay, how can I get want I want/need through cunning deception?”
Although you may have many faults, I suspect that a desire to manipulate others is not one of them. You are someone who is in a lot of pain—some of that crying and anger is warranted.