Here is a link to an article about the evolution and cycle of the borderline personality relationship (romantic relationship):
How a Borderline Personality Disorder Love Relationship Evolves
Roger Melton, M.A., Psychotherapist and writer from Los Angeles, California
Adapted by Facing The Facts from Romeo’s Bleeding
Today’s post will be focusing on the first phase of this evolution: The Vulnerable Seducer Phase.
Journal Exercise: Read about the Vulnerable Seducer Phase, and write about your personal experience in that phase. Does Roger Melton’s perspective on this experience match your own experience? How so? Give examples based on your most recent relationship.
*Tomorrow we will explore the next phase, “The Clinger Phase.”
Personal Account: (as a reminder, the personal accounts are essentially my journals on the given journal exercise of the day)
What Roger wrote in this article regarding hte Vulnerable Seducer Phase rang so truly it was kind of creepy to me. How can a stranger know what my relationship pattern and behavior is by only knowing my diagnosis. It makes me feel like I am definitely in that box. But it also provides me some relief knowing that there’s a reason I behave the way I do, and I’m not alone. So how did my most relationship match the Vulnerable Seducer Phase?
I met my partner while I was actually dating another individual. It was a long-distance relationship, and I was ready to let it go any way. When I met my partner, Timothy, I fell for him immediately. I was definitely looking for my “knight in shining armor,” and I found him when I found Timothy. I was very quick to let him know I was interested and I began a very intense relationship with him. I did have a very intense way of bearing down on him that was incredibly seductive. I knew exactly what I was doing. I was making him feel like the most amazing person in the world – he knew me like no one else knew me, and we were going to be an amazing match. Just as the article states, a lot did happen between us in a very short amount of time.
I did this in previous relationships, too – and I tried to do it while growing up, but it wasn’t until high school when I caught a poor guy in my web of seduction and deceit. It’s very interesting to look at my relationships through the borderline personality perspective. I am fairly fucked up. Excuse my language, but I am. But that’s okay. I’m working through it, and I’m being honest. I don’t always have to live my life like I have in the past. I can change my present and I can change my future.
I’m looking forward to exploring the next phase tomorrow.
